I have hesitated to write this post about 20 Ways to Pray for Your Wife for a couple of reasons. First, I don’t think that I have many men readers, so it may not be seen by the target audience much! With the possible exception of my husband! Second, it feels a bit self-serving. I am writing primarily from my own experiences and how I hope my husband prays for me. Yes, I have specific needs that I hope he prays for as well. But in general, if he prayed regularly over this list or a list like it, I would feel exceptionally lucky, blessed, and loved!
However, I decided to go ahead and write the post, hoping that it will benefit someone, somewhere. One of the primary reasons I decided to go ahead with it, is that I wanted to have a complete family prayer set – husband, wife, children, and adult children. With this post, that set is complete, and I will soon be compiling it as a booklet to give away.
With that said, here is the prayer list – share it with whomever you think would benefit.
- Pray for her spiritual growth. If she is not a believer, that needs to be the first thing you pray for. However, if she is saved, then you need to be praying that she will understand the need to be continually growing in faith and grace. Pray that she will make every effort to do what is necessary to nurture her faith and pray the same for yourself. Philippians 1:9-11
- Pray for her husband. Yes, husbands, that means you need to pray for yourself. Pray that you will be the husband that she needs, not the one you think she needs. Pray that you will love her like Christ loved the church, protect her like Boaz protect Ruth (see the book of Ruth), and lead your home like a shepherd leads his sheep – with grace, compassion, and love. Ephesians 5:25-33
- Pray for her prayer life. Pray that you will do nothing to hinder her prayer life, but that you will support her in every way possible. Pray that the Lord will answer her prayers in undeniable miraculous ways. Pray that she will be faithful to pray for her family, her church, her friends, and her world. Luke 18:1-8; 1 Peter 3:7
- Pray for her emotions. If you’ve been married very long, you know that a woman’s emotions can wreak havoc with her life. For some women, the emotional roller-coaster is too much and they succumb to depression, withdrawal, substance abuse, or other unhealthy coping methods. Pray that her emotions will never be more than she can handle, with prayer and the Lord’s help. Pray that she will understand her role in controlling her emotions and that hormones do not have to control her life. Proverbs 4:23
- Pray for her role as a mother. Pray that she will have the wisdom she needs to mold young lives, hang tough with teens, or gently guide adult children. Pray that she will value her role as a mother and that she will understand the importance of pouring her life into her children, especially when they are still at home. Pray she will embrace her role as a mother. Titus 2:4-5
- Pray for her friendships. Women need friends that will support and encourage them. Your wife is no different. Even if she is painfully shy and introverted, she needs friends. She may not need as many as an extroverted, outgoing woman would need, but trust me, she needs friends. And not just any friends, but godly friends who will help her to be the best child of God she can be. Proverbs 13:20
- Pray for godly wisdom. Pray she will have the wisdom necessary to build up those in her household in the faith of Christ. Pray she will seek wisdom from the source of all wisdom, Jesus. Pray that she will understand the difference between knowing what to do and choosing to do it – and that choosing righteousness is wisdom. Proverbs 14:1
- Pray for her work. Whether she works inside the home or out, for a paycheck or not, she is working. Pray that she will feel fulfilled and valued in her work and that those who benefit from her work (including husband and children) will recognize the benefit they receive and praise her for her work. Proverbs 31:28-29
- Pray for her to have a sense of purpose. This goes beyond simply working – although that is important. It speaks to a longing to know that God specially created her to fill a role in the world that no other person could do as well. Pray that she will know and understand her purpose, and work to fulfill it while not neglecting the daily requirements of being a wife and mom. Proverbs 24:3-4
- Pray that she will always be committed to you and your marriage. We live in an age when marriage has become a throw-away institution. I’ve heard even believers talk about the former marriages as ‘starter marriages,’ as if that somehow excuses the lack of commitment. If you are in a second or subsequent marriage, know that your sins, like all of ours, are under the grace of God. However, going forward, pray that both she and you will treat this marriage as a holy covenant with God. Pray that she will always love you and remain committed to you no matter what the future holds. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
- Pray for her ability to forgive and to trust. It is impossible to be in any long-term relationship and not get hurt. The same goes for your marriage. Pray that when those times of hurt occur she will be quick to forgive and continue to trust. Pray also that you will not wound her spirit deeply so that forgiveness is quick and easy to give. Pray that you will be as forgiving and gracious to her as you want her to be to you. Ephesians 4:31-32
- Pray that she will embrace the love of both the Lord and you. The acceptance and security she craves can only be satisfied by a growing relationship with the Lord. However, God will most likely use you also to help her feel loved and accepted just as she is. Pray that she will accept that love and be able to rest securely in it. Colossians 3:12-15
- Pray that she will be accepting of how the Lord made her. Most women desire to fix something about themselves, whether it’s their hair, their legs, their weight, their noses, or something else. Pray for your wife to accept that she is exactly as the Lord made her, and that you love her exactly as she is. This does not mean that she cannot change – for instance by losing weight, getting in shape, or dying her hair – but that she has a deep-seated appreciation for how the Lord made her. You can help in this regard by reminding her frequently that you love her just the way she is. Psalm 139:13-16
- Pray for her physical health. Along with her spiritual and emotional/mental health, pray that she will be physically healthy. This encompasses praying that God will protect her from severe health problems, that she will heal quickly and completely from minor health problems, and that she will, in general, have a physically healthy body. Proverbs 4:20-23
- Pray for her protection from evil influences and evil people. As her husband, you are her first line of defense against evil. Cover her in prayer and be sure to not put her in any situations that might be dangerous or invite danger. Also, help her to stand strong in the face of possible pressure to choose the way of compromise. Many women tend to be peacemakers or peacekeepers and so can choose to compromise to keep the peace. Pray she’ll stand strong in these types of situations and be an example to other believers. 1 Peter 5:8
- Pray for her respect for and submission to you. Her relationship with you is, aside from the one with the Lord, her most important relationship. However, it is difficult for some women to bear the thought of submission to a man. Pray that she – and you – will have a Biblical understanding of what submission is and what it looks like in your relationship. Pray that she will respect your leadership in the home even when she disagrees with you. Pray also that you will be willing to listen to her counsel on issues where you do not agree. Pray that you will always agree about important issues. Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18
- Pray for her relationship with you. As already stated, her relationship with you is a priority. Pray that she will protect the time that you two have to be together talking, sharing, dreaming, and building a strong relationship. Pray that you will encourage her in taking an initiative to build that relationship. Pray that the two of you will carve out time to be together even in the midst of all the busyness of life. 1 Peter 3:1-6
- Pray for wisdom in her priorities. Women often feel pulled in dozens of different directions, wanting to meet the needs of all the family as well as the needs that others inform her of and ask for her help with. This pressure to be all things to all people can quickly lead to burnout and disillusionment. Pray that your wife will understand her purpose and align her priorities with that purpose. Pray also that you will help her to manage her priorities. Matthew 6:33-34; 11:28-30
- Pray for her sexuality and her sexual relationship with you. I suspect I could just stop there. Rest assured, this aspect of your relationship is just as important to her as it is to you. She may not show it in the same way, she may not express her needs in the same way, but God designed both of you to long for each other. Pray that this area of your relationship with be fulfilling for many years and will help to knit your hearts together as one. Song of Solomon 4:10-16; 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
- Pray for her future. Only god knows what the future holds, and it is best to go to Him with your concerns about it. God’s plans for the future may at times confuse and mystify you but it is good – as measured by heaven’s standards. Pray that she will be in the center of God’s will for as long as she lives, whatever the future holds. Jeremiah 29:11-13